Dinnertime!
by Mary Gooby
Summary: Narcissa is feeling rather pathetic. She's 31 years old and has never prepared a meal. Well, Malfoys can never feel pathetic!


**Dinnertime!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

Narcissa leaned back in the armchair and tugged on the velvet sash that summoned the house elf, Dobby.

Instantly, he appeared. "You called, Mistress?" he said in his squeaky voice, bowing so low that his nose brushed the floor.

She eyed him coolly. "Yes. What are you making for dinner?"

Dobby looked up. "Vegetable cobbler, mistress."

"Vegetable cobbler?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said, looking worried. "Mistress said she would like vegetable cobbler. Dobby is only trying to please his mistress."

"Oh, I know. I requested it." She reflexively stoked her bloated belly. She _really_ did want some vegetable cobbler. "Dobby, is making vegetable cobbler hard?"

"Dobby doesn't mind. Dobby will do whatever his mistress wants."

"Don't give me that. Give me the answer, elf."

"Er," he said, shuffling his feet. "It is one of the easier recipes, mistress."

A cold smile lit up her lips. "Good. Then I will make it." Content, she gazed into the fire.

Dobby, however, looked nervous. "Mistress is making supper?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" she snapped.

Dobby recoiled. "Yes. That is what mistress just said. But Dobby was wondering if mistress knew how."

Her nostrils flared. "How _dare_ you address such questions?"

Dobby took an involuntary step back.

"Be gone from my sight."

He was gone from her sight.

She relaxed. There was no way she was telling him she had never prepared a meal.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_It smells quite nasty down here,_ thought Narcissa as she slowly went down the steps leading to the kitchen.This was certainly going to be the last time she prepared food. Her foot hit the final step and she looked around the dark kitchen. A gigantic sink took up about half the counter. The rest was covered with vegetables and pie dough materials.

_Excellent. It's all set out_. She walked briskly over to the counter and picked up a piece of paper that said "Recipe: Vegetable Cobbler"

_Hm._ Preheat oven to 350 degrees. How did you preheat?

She walked over to the oven and looked at all the dials. She couldn't make sense of them, so she just decided to make it on the stove. But how to light the stove? After a couple minutes of looking over _that_, she resolved to light it with her wand. _Good. That's all settled._

She frowned at the next line on the recipe. "Dice vegetables into square chunks. Put them in greased pan"

Well, she didn't know what that meant, but she was going to try. Malfoys didn't give up. She began to root through the drawers until she found a knife. It had a bit of a serrated edge, but that should be alright for vegetables. She grabbed a leek. She looked it over. She looked it over again. Where did you put the knife?

She shrugged and cut it in half. Then in half again, and again. 8 chunks should be enough. She then set them aside and did the other vegetables. Except the radishes. They were small enough to just go in there whole.

As for greasing the pan she took out some. . . canola oil. Yes, that was it. And she poured the canola oil in the pan. Then she put all the vegetables in there too.

Then she began on the crust.

Let's not get into that, shall we?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Narcissa smiled across the table at her husband, who was just sitting down. "Hello, Lucius. Have a nice day at work?"

"Yes. Quite." His sleet eyes left hers and locked onto the. . . cobbler instead. "And what have we here?"

She eyed it apprehensively. "Vegetable cobbler."

He smiled. "Well, I'm sure it's quite delicious. Dobby!"

With a crack the house elf appeared, bowing low. "Yes, Master?"

"Serve us our dinner." He leaned back and clasped his hands in his lap.

Narcissa smiled in excitement. She had been craving vegetable cobbler all day.

Dobby reached up for a pie cutter and Lucius' bowl. The pie cutter sliced - sliced? - through the. . . cobbler and pulled a slice - slice? - up.

With a _plop_ it landed on Lucius' plate. Then Dobby put the plate on Lucius' placemat.

Both the Malfoys stared at the slice - slice? - . The vegetables were now crispy and black, with the crust (if you could call it a crust - it was more like burnt flour) crumbling down to the plate. A single radish stem dangled from inside the mess.

Narcissa looked at her own slice and frowned. "Dobby?"

Dobby looked up. "Yes, mistress?"

"This vegetable cobbler no longer seems appetizing. Make me some meatloaf."

**A/N: I would really appreciate a review. Anonymous reviews are enabled.**


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